{"id":3638,"date":"2015-11-19T13:13:03","date_gmt":"2015-11-19T11:13:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/?p=3638"},"modified":"2021-11-19T07:57:27","modified_gmt":"2021-11-19T05:57:27","slug":"simtul-umorului","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/2015\/11\/19\/simtul-umorului\/","title":{"rendered":"Sim\u021bul umorului"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>O constatare trist\u0103, oamenii nu prea mai au sim\u021bul umorului. Constatare e \u00eenso\u021bit\u0103 \u0219i de o mic\u0103 \u00eengrijorare cu un singur semn de \u00eentrebare: poate umorul meu nu mai are sim\u021bul oamenilor?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Noiembrie, seara, eu \u00een continuare foarte neb\u0103rbierit, cu un rucsac \u00een spate intru, \u00eenso\u021bit de so\u021bie, la sediul firmei de unde consum\u0103m cu nesa\u021b internet, televiziune prin cablu \u0219i telefonie mobil\u0103. Trebuia s\u0103 pred\u0103m un telefon fix \u0219i s\u0103 lu\u0103m o cartel\u0103. Cum contractele sunt pe numele doamnei, eu eram doar pe post de \u201e\u00eengro\u0219\u0103tor\u201d de coad\u0103. Av\u00e2nd \u00een vedere c\u0103 lucrurile se mi\u0219cau \u00eentr-un ritm de melc paralizat de la br\u00e2u \u00een jos, am mai ie\u0219it din \u00eenc\u0103pere pentru a face mici cump\u0103raturi de la al 249 \u2013lea \u201emega\u201e din cartier, am revenit, iar am ie\u0219it \u0219i din nou am revenit. So\u021bia ajunge, \u00een cele din urm\u0103, la un birou de predare-primire-semnare-pl\u0103tire, iar eu continuam s\u0103 stau ca un par l\u00e2ng\u0103 u\u0219\u0103, cu ochii \u021bint\u0103 pe un col\u021b de p\u00e2ine care \u00eemi ie\u0219ea provocator din plas\u0103. O a doua domni\u0219oar\u0103 de la al doilea birou de predare-primire-semnare-pl\u0103tire dup\u0103 ce \u00eemi arunc\u0103 mai multe priviri interogative, str\u00e2nge destul curaj astfel \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 arunce \u00een aer un cuv\u00e2nt \u00eentrebare: \u201eDumneavoastr\u0103?\u201d. \u201eNu doresc nimic, stau \u0219i eu aici pentru c\u0103 e mai cald dec\u00e2t afar\u0103\u201d. Dintr-o dat\u0103 spr\u00e2ncele pensat-creionate pornesc \u00een goan\u0103 peste c\u00e2mpiile frun\u021bii, tr\u0103d\u00e2nd o evident\u0103 uimire speriat\u0103. O v\u0103d cum \u00eencepe s\u0103 se foiasc\u0103 \u0219i ba ar da s\u0103 pun\u0103 m\u00e2na pe telefon, ba ar c\u0103uta pe sub birou ceva (un pistol, o b\u00e2t\u0103, un buton de panic\u0103, un sandvi\u0219 \u0219i o cafea pentru un am\u0103r\u00e2t). Cum tensiunea cre\u0219tea p\u00e2n\u0103 la dispari\u021bia oxigenului din aer, m-am v\u0103zut obligat s\u0103 spun adev\u0103rul lipsit de orice urm\u0103 de poant\u0103, c\u0103 \u00eemi \u00eenso\u021besc so\u021bia. Una dintre domni\u0219oare schi\u021beaz\u0103 un z\u00e2mbet scr\u00e2\u0219nit \u0219i \u00eemi dau seama c\u0103 nu am fost crezut \u00een totalitate. Sc\u0103parea era so\u021bia, m-am g\u00e2ndit s\u0103 m\u0103 duc s\u0103 o \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219ez, s\u0103 scot certificatul de c\u0103s\u0103torie, facem o copie, o l\u0103s\u0103m la firm\u0103 \u0219i toat\u0103 lumea se lini\u0219te\u0219te. Dar, mereu exist\u0103 un dar, \u00een mintea odihnit\u0103 \u00eemi \u00eencol\u021be\u0219te un g\u00e2nd: dac\u0103 so\u021bia, care posed\u0103 \u0219i ea sim\u021bul umorului, se face c\u0103 nu m\u0103 cunoa\u0219te \u0219i m\u0103 respinge brutal, ca s\u0103 dea greutate poantei ini\u021biale.<\/p>\n<p>Din fericire, sim\u021bind momentul tensionat &#8211; \u00een timp ce eu m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam cum s\u0103 le explic poli\u021bi\u0219tilor diferen\u021bele dintre barba unui fundamentalist islamic \u0219i barba unui ortodox practicant \u2013 so\u021bia m\u0103 transform\u0103 din terorist de ocazie \u00een libidinos profesionist: \u201eL\u0103sa\u021bi-l \u00een pace, domnul e dup\u0103 mine, \u00eemi face curte\u201d . Dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva minute am p\u0103r\u0103sit \u00eenc\u0103perea \u0219i toat\u0103 lumea a r\u0103suflat u\u0219urat\u0103, inclusiv eu, care nu m\u0103 dau prea tare \u00een v\u00e2nt dup\u0103 camerele supra-\u00eenc\u0103lzite, inclusiv cele video.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>O constatare trist\u0103, oamenii nu prea mai au sim\u021bul umorului. Constatare e \u00eenso\u021bit\u0103 \u0219i de o mic\u0103 \u00eengrijorare cu un singur semn de \u00eentrebare: poate umorul meu nu mai are sim\u021bul oamenilor? &nbsp; Noiembrie, seara, eu \u00een continuare foarte neb\u0103rbierit, cu un rucsac \u00een spate intru, \u00eenso\u021bit de so\u021bie, la sediul firmei de unde consum\u0103m&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3639,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3638"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3638"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3638\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4536,"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3638\/revisions\/4536"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3639"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3638"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3638"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3638"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}