{"id":4544,"date":"2021-12-31T10:06:24","date_gmt":"2021-12-31T08:06:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/?p=4544"},"modified":"2021-12-31T10:10:38","modified_gmt":"2021-12-31T08:10:38","slug":"certificatul-de-deces","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/2021\/12\/31\/certificatul-de-deces\/","title":{"rendered":"Certificatul DE DEces"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>F\u0103r\u0103 certificat de deces sunt un om mort. Pe vremuri era invers. Acum sunt alte vremuri. Sunt con\u0219tient c\u0103 \u00eemi lipsesc multe, dar nu m-am g\u00e2ndit, p\u00e2n\u0103 azi, c\u0103 a\u0219 avea nevoie \u0219i de certificatul de deces.<\/p>\n<p>Ca s\u0103 nu m\u0103 stafidesc definitiv, am decis \u00een ultima zi a anului s\u0103 ies la o scurt\u0103 plimbare. Cum \u00een cale mi-a ie\u0219it \u0219i un supermarket, am zis s\u0103 intru s\u0103 v\u0103d cum se mai agit\u0103 lumea pe ultima sut\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Dau s\u0103 intru, c\u00e2nd un domn foarte corpolent de la paz\u0103 m\u0103 opre\u0219te.<\/p>\n<p>-V\u0103 rog s\u0103-mi prezenta\u021bi certificatul de deces!<\/p>\n<p>-Nu am a\u0219a ceva.<\/p>\n<p>-F\u0103r\u0103 nu se poate!<\/p>\n<p>-Asta e nou\u0103, a\u021bi inversat, \u00een loc de \u201daici nu intri nici mort\u201d, la dumneavoastr\u0103 se intr\u0103 doar mort.<\/p>\n<p>-Dac\u0103 a\u021bi \u00eenceput cheful mai devreme eu zic s\u0103 v\u0103 vede\u021bi de treab\u0103. O zi bun\u0103, la mul\u021bi ani!<\/p>\n<p>-Dar dac\u0103 aveam certificat \u00eemi mai spunea\u021bi \u201dLa mul\u021bi ani\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>-Normal.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>PS 1<\/p>\n<p>Un moment m-am g\u00e2ndit c\u0103 este un semn. \u00cen ultima s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 am suferit o entors\u0103, am avut o criz\u0103 de ulcer, m-a durut \u00een g\u00e2t \u0219i mi-am rupt o m\u0103sea.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>PS 2<\/p>\n<p>Adesea realitatea stric\u0103 poanta. Nu a fost niciun semn. C\u00e2nd la finalul dialogului am scos din buzunar certificatul verde (sunt de \u0219coal\u0103 veche, \u00eel am printat pe h\u00e2rtie), omul de la paz\u0103 \u0219i-a tras o palm\u0103 peste frunte.<\/p>\n<p>-Eu ce ziceam?<\/p>\n<p>-Certificat de deces!<\/p>\n<p>-Aoleu&#8230; de acces.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>F\u0103r\u0103 certificat de deces sunt un om mort. Pe vremuri era invers. Acum sunt alte vremuri. Sunt con\u0219tient c\u0103 \u00eemi lipsesc multe, dar nu m-am g\u00e2ndit, p\u00e2n\u0103 azi, c\u0103 a\u0219 avea nevoie \u0219i de certificatul de deces. Ca s\u0103 nu m\u0103 stafidesc definitiv, am decis \u00een ultima zi a anului s\u0103 ies la o scurt\u0103&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5],"tags":[60,61],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4544"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4544"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4544\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4546,"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4544\/revisions\/4546"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4544"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4544"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dedes.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4544"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}